Hello Dear Reader, has it been an eventful week. So, the great lock in has begun. *YAY* I'm at the point where the bibliography is starting to come together and actually look like a bibliography (and not just a bunch of mismatched links thrown onto a google doc). I have about 15 functioning sources that I have at my disposal, and the summaries are loading. I'm also totally stealing Hunter's idea and breaking it up by sections (still alphabetically, of course) so there's a bit more cohesion. I've really got 3 sections for the break down right now: The Linguistics, The Psychology, and The Politics. As I have read more, I'm realizing that there is a lot of overlap between pairs, i.e. psychology and linguistics, but very little domestic scholarship on the three all together.
This has lead me down a rabbit hole of foreign scholarship. Isn’t it weird that a lot of relevant work is coming out of Russia.
Anywhoseits…
On top of landing on several FBI/CIA watchlists, I’ve also began the first draft. Now is it a lot? No. Is it official? Also no. But, do I have a really academic sounding title? You bet your bottom dollar I do.
“The Language of Violence: A Psycholinguistic Analysis of Censorship in Online Discourse Spaces“
Now, you try to tell me that doesn’t sound like I might know something. (This is all an act, I’m trying to gaslight confidence into myself.)
Again, right now I’m still doing as much research as I can(and putting my swiftread subscription to good use) so aside from some insane notes I don’t have a bunch to show right now, but I guess I’ll definitely need to have something by the 9th.
It was such a busy week, the horrors persist but so do I.
So right now I am like knee deep in the research phase.
Was this week crazy productive? No.
Is the research going well? It’s not bad.
Am I confident I’m gonna get it done? Yes.
I am at that weird point where I’m starting to knock out the articles I thought were going to be really helpful, but they weren’t. On the other hand, I am starting to see my paper coming together. (I am getting subheading ideas *evil laughing*)
I really have two big goals for this week and next:
Sources- Finish reading through the sources I have right now. It is a mix of looking through rhetorical and psychological studies so I have been casting a really large net. I have really just been going through any and every source I can find and *legally* downloading them. So, the next steps look like getting at least 10-15 more solid sources with an additional 5-10 supplementary sources.
Examples- I have been collecting real world examples of the phenomena I’m writing about for the passed few years. So the plan is to go through those and pick which ones I can use and which I would need to get rid of.
After I complete those steps, I need to start planning out my actual methodology, but I am excited for that so we’re still in the green.
Hopefully, I’ll have something really good to share next time. Until then, Dear Reader.
So, I subscribe to the notion that “One should know thyself.” I had a feeling something would happen during this process that would change what I would want to do. I’ve spent these passed few weeks waiting for the other shoe to drop… and it finally happened.
What is this hypothetical shoe, you may ask, dear reader?
I think I might change my topic.
I figure it isn’t too bad that I change now before any ink dries.
While I enjoyed my original topic, I was running into 2 very big problems.
I hate AI too much. Going through the articles I realized, my biases are too strong. I noticed that I was really looking for articles and sources that were confirming what I already felt.
I was trying to think about how I could expand on this field or fill a niche. Now I figured the niche could be filled by the way I was framing it but I couldn’t really envision further expansion.
Now these were both things I was really ready to accept. I was pulling sources and stuff, working on the write up and everything was moving towards the final thesis, but then I got distracted inspired.
Basically, in my Thursday class we were talking about language as a form of power. I have strong feelings about that as well. Anyway, after I left class, I went on a 2 hour rant to my phone (I thought I was recording a voice memo— turns out, when I connect to my car, it turns off the recording. Made me want to blow my dome smooth off.) about that topic.
I am now in purgatory.
On one hand, I’ve got a bunch of resources and a blank canvas for the AI anthology. It’s also more creative. That being said, I think that it just seems like something fun but not as beneficial for my overall goals.
On the other hand, I have a bunch of stuff already done for the idea of language as a form of violence/oppression, and it seems like there’s more and more everyday. It is a topic I’m passionate about, and I think that there is plenty to expand on.
I’m gonna keep playing with both ideas and see which sticks.
Disclaimer: For all intents and purposes, especially for the purposes of a legal matter, all of the following is a joke. Again, any references to any hypothetical theft, piracy, or crimes (punishable by law within the fifty states of the United States of America) are purely hypothetical scenarios made in jest in order to entertain an audience. The persons and events in this blog are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons or events is unintentional. Please don’t sue or arrest me. I’m broke and too pretty for jail.
Anywhoseits, on a completely unrelated note, I refuse to pay the NYT, or any other major news corporation for that matter, any amount of money in order to read a document. (And before you say anything, the writers have already been paid! Any money I hypothetically did not spend on the subscription would have gone to the the shareholders and upper management.) It’s also just so much fun. If you wonder where I get this sentiment from, please watch the video below.
In order to circumvent this, I may have, possibly, allegedly, hypothetically, stolen a bunch of articles for my thesis. I currently, may, have about 45 articles hidden in a google drive folder. I definitely didn’t do this by clicking on the article then hitting command+A before the paywall arose. And I would never open up a blank google doc and paste everything into that. And I most certainly didn’t go through each article to get rid of the ads and find more victims articles. I definitely wouldn’t recommend anyone do the same.
“Freedom is so much the essence of man that even its opponents implement it while combating its reality; they want to appropriate for, themselves as a most precious ornament what they have rejected as an ornament of human nature.” -Karl Marx
How’d that get there?
Now that I have finished my, entirely hypothetical, warning of what not to do when finding sources, let me get to what I have actually done.
So, for those who don’t know, my plan is to write a speculative horror fiction anthology focusing on the impact LLMs are having within writing centric spaces. I am drawing inspiration from works like Margaret Atwood’s Handmaid’s Tale, Rod Serling’s Twilight Zone, and The News (Dun Dun duhhhh). By “The News” I mean that I only want to use events that have already happened or have a foundation in things already happening, similar to the approach Atwood took to Handmaid’s Tale.
““Somebody asked me on Twitter recently, ‘How do you come up with this shit?’ My answer was, ‘It’s not me who has come up with it, it’s the human race over the past 4,000 years.’” – Margaret Atwood
The section I am working on right now hits particularly close to home. The chapter follows a teacher who, over the course of a year, is replaced by the very AI she trained. There are a few precedents I am drawing on as inspiration for this story.
There is a large push in the education field to integrate AI into both our professional practices and the classroom. We are being told to use programs like Chat and Magic school to create resources, lesson plans, and activities for our classroom. At the same time, they are telling us to have students use AI chat rooms for activities and project creation.
Earlier this year, Melania Trump praised AI in the field of education and suggested that it could/should replace teachers in the classroom. (Which is ironic, coming from one of two first ladies who hasn’t completed a degree since 1897.)
While Linda McMahon disagrees that teachers should be replaced, she does cosign that it should be integrated into the curriculum and classroom environment. (Also ironic, considering the fact that she has never actually taught a class.)
My general virtial for the government aside, the move towards AI being a staple in the classroom is terrifying.
So the plan is to draw on that sense of dread that I experience that keeps me up every night, staring into the dark abyss, contemplating my existence. Write what you know and what not.
I want to give a special shout out to Dr. Sisler! Dr. Sisler has helped me a lot with establishing a basis for the research. She was nice enough to send me some links to articles (for legal purposes, these links are completely unrelated to any links mentioned in the prior, completely made up, story.) that really helped when it came down to a starting point for the research.
I’m having fun writing it, so far, and I’m excited for what the other stories have in store.
If you get the reference, Dear Reader, you have my respect.
So, full transparency, I was completely lost on what I was going to do for my thesis.
I had a few vague ideas but when I was sitting in that first class my view kind of shifted on what I wanted to do. Initially I was thinking of doing something that I found more challenging; the plan was to write an existential horror fiction. But I couldn’t figure out how that could tie into what I want to do professionally or what that kind of research would look like.
So I scrapped that idea.
I looked back at the thesis proposal I wrote, it was how algospeak impacts our perception of information. While I do have more of a foundation for where I could take this research, I’m not sure if that is really something I want to spend a crazy amount of time on. I also couldnt see how that ties into my job or career goals.
So I scrapped that idea.
Then their was the piece I was working on during the writers retreat. It was a horror cookbook. It was a pretty narrative heavy story but each story centered on a recipe. It kind of was supposed to be reminiscent of those food blogs that tells a whole story before it gets to the actual recipe. I was quickly running out of recipes that I felt comfortable remaking (ingredients are pricey) and I wanted it to work as a cookbook too, so the recipes would actually have to be on point.
So I scrapped that idea.
I have a bunch of writing ideas/prompts that I put down on a note for ideas over the years so I opened it and went through what I had written down.
A murder mystery that take place on a lovecraftian train (Murder on the Oriental Express meets Infinity Train)
Nah.
A YA Urban Fantasy about 2 black kids (The daughter of a witch and the don of a demon hunter) being framed by a white witch and her cop husband.
Nah.
I very quickly ran through my list of prompts.
It was time to consult a real one.
So I turned on my voice memos and started ranting.
After 15 minutes, I realized… I wasn’t actually recording anything.
I started again, with a lot of the fluff out of the way.
I talked about my goals, realistically considering how far I was actually willing to take them. The plan is to shoot for an ELA department district supervisor as a 9-5, and teach college courses at nights. As far as my education goes, I currently see at least 1 MFA, 1-2 Phd(s), and for gits and shiggles, I might just knock out a psych major (I only need 5 undergrad classes for it), but that’s just me being extra.
With that being said, I wanted to do something with relevance to both my teaching career and a field that is prominent and evolving. It didn’t take long to conclude AI would be a good topic to center in on. I deal with it in my PD’s as it intergrates more and more into our jobs. Since it is still evolving rapidly, I can see a lot of space in the research I could conduct. And of course, as a writer, I have very violent strong feelings about AI.
With the topic being chosen, I just had to figure out how I was going to approach the subject. I still wanted to do research but I really wanted to do something creative. I just find it easier and more enjoyable to write. So I played with a couple ideas but I finally settled on an anthology fiction piece that draws on real events and research (kind of like Black Mirror meets Handmaids Tail).
Dr. Sisler and Dr. Z have both given me some reading reccomendations so I will be making my way through those soon!
Since you made it all this way, the least I can do is give you some kind of treat.
The following is the rough dedication (cause all the best stories have dedications):
How does one contest with their own finality?
How does one hear the rolling wheels of change over the cries of the countless left in their wake. Their blood, sweat, and tears acting as lubricant for the impending “well oiled machine” that harbinges their demise.
How does one find the sun and stars when the sky is blocked by the looming shadow of the grave?
To those who will create a universe in the dark sand
