Short answer: YES!!!!

Long answer:

Also, yes, obviously. I hit my 20 pages last night! I am calculating pages by 300 words equaling a page via YA novels. I am almost at 21 pages, but writing will no longer be the focus going forward for the next few weeks.

I have been focusing on writing even when I knew I was re-writing a scene that I had somewhere else or information that I couldn’t remember I had or not. Most of what I wrote was inner monologue and dialogue, I write in script form first and then flush out things later. I just needed words on a page. Now that that is done, I have the harder, more daunting task for a non linear writer like myself: editing, plotting.

Editing is something I love and one of my favorite things to do…for other people. I love taking someone’s project and helping them craft it to become exactly what they want it to be. It’s why I enjoy my academic editing job now and helping Communication student’s with their scripts.

That being said, having to go through and edit my own work. It’s tough. I am not nor have I ever been someone who plots their work from start to finish. I just write and let the scene, characters, take me wherever. Which can be nice and necessary, but extremely unhelpful when putting a big project together.

So I reached my goal and I am stoked about that, but now the bigger task comes and I am a little nervous and feeling a lot like I will be fighting procrastination moving forward on this.

To help keep me accountable, I plan to use novel writing tools and books and dedicate 30 min a day to sitting down and plotting. That will be the goal of the week and then hopefully after that I will have a better idea of editing and moving the scenes I wrote around as needed.

“When we’re writing memoir, we’re writing the small moments. When we think about memory, memory does not come in a linear narrative. Memory comes to us with lots of white space around it—and that’s where the poetry is.” (Jacqueline Woodson)

This quote really resonated with me this past week as I continue researching methodologies that accurately fit within my thesis. I have been so invested in cornering my work into theories that I hold dear rather than allowing my work to speak for itself. It feels like I have been steering my work rather than allow my work to inform me. I spent much of the last few weeks looking through my writing and analyzing what themes arise.

My writings sprout into many interdisciplinary topics such as trauma, culture, politics, sociology, and psychology deeply rooted in memory. What has arisen are the nuances of my lived experiences paired with the invisible hand of silence and what has remained despite everything is memory. Howard Zinn states, ” The memory of oppressed people is one thing that cannot be taken away, and for such people, with such memories, revolt is always an inch below the surface.” (Howard Zinn).

Moving forward I plan to invest more time researching concepts such as “the colonized mind”, the importance of memoir for oppressed peoples, qualitative interviews, poetic memoir as grounded theory.

A few research questions that I have narrowed down are as follows:

What memory/event informed each specific writing? How was it significant in my life/growth.

How are some ways memories resurface in trauma victims?

How is memory processed in the minds of oppressed people?

Last Wednesday a huge development came in my life as a professional wrestling fan that is sure to be a true gift to the progress of my thesis. I went to Arthur Ashe Stadium in Queens, NY to see AEW’s Grand Slam show. Now, aside from this being the biggest non-PPV event on AEW’s calendar year, it really shouldn’t seem like anything too special. I went to last year’s event, and it was probably a better show than this year’s, but show quality is not the point of focus here. Last year I was very much in the nosebleeds for Grand Slam, and this year I had floor seats. REALLY good floor seats.

I dreamt of attending a big wrestling show and sitting floor-level since I was at the big-boy age of seven, 17 years of my pretty young-ish life. A huge chunk. And this was not like seeing the old retired wrestlers of yesteryear relive their glory days at the Elk’s Lodge in Union, NJ close (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Rather, I was watching one of the most talented and notable rosters in the world, in their prime, peak legendary status, or come-up all showcase super proficient professional wrestling. Arthur Ashe holds 20,000+ seats, and to look at such a venue from a central floor level… It gave me chills. It felt almost spiritual.

AEW has had a good chunk of inner-turmoil and controversy lately, of which involves a backstage brawl, suspension, and ongoing investigation between who are arguably their four most seminal professional wrestlers (CM Punk, Kenny Omega, Matt Jackson, & Nick Jackson). What is going on now is frustrating for fans and the entire promotion, and a big of a red flag for the foreseeable future. It is also something that will likely be strongly bookmarked in the annals of professional wrestling history. I really hope that it wraps up before I start REALLY laying pen to paper for my thesis, because I think that it could very well be a key component to be presented in relation to the WHOLE thing.

Anyway, what truly made this event special is how it reminded us fans that what really counts is that AEW still serves as the fighting spirit alternative to the more “Disney on Ice ” presentation of professional wrestling that has dominated North America for the past 30-plus years. AEW is only a three-year old promotion, but if the show that I attended last week shows anything, it is that the company will still continue to emit professional wrestling love and craft through its most notable struggles for its fans that have a very legitimate love for the art form sport.

But wow, being that close to names such as Chris Jericho, Jon Moxley, and Bryan Danielson, and Sting was phenomenal. I have been watching these individuals since before I ever knew what boxers were, and it just shone a light on me just how physical this sport is. I can get super specific about that, but I think that this blog post is running its course a bit, and that could get super tedious for the rest of you. Wow though, it really sparked a whole new complementary yet mirrored view into my appreciation and internal understanding for professional wrestling, almost to the point where it feels like a new pair of shoes. There is so much more to bite into than I previously thought about, and it mainly comes from the act of watching the thing.

I have an entire iceberg to pick apart here.

Also, I got to see THE GREAT MUTA in-person!!! So significant.