I think the collective mood of us all is going to be: tired.
The past two weeks have been just… increasingly mentally draining.
I really don’t know why the self-docs have me struggling so much. The YouTube one especially. I’d like to say it’s done, but it’s not. As of now, 2:30pm Sunday, at least.
The site itself. I think I’m going with a Wix site. I just have to figure out how Wix works. It’s so complex and the ideas I have for the site are so simple so it feels like when I’m working with a template wix page, I’m deconstructing the whole thing, or it’s just not allowing for what I want. I need to look at it again, look around online.
I want to get started on other things, though, too. Like revisiting my old sources. And the vignettes. I’d like to do 5 of those. How long they should be, though… sigh… I don’t know. The self-docs came out to 6 pages each, or at least that’s what they are now, and I don’t know if I just don’t know how to shut up or I’m struggling with being concise. And concise is what I need for the vignettes.
I wrote up these topics a few weeks back for the vignettes:
- Separation of content and community
- Fandom communities as support systems
- Fiction v. IRL fandoms
- External stigma
- Internal stigma – i.e., gatekeeping, toxicity
- Creative influence
- The Bullseye model one of my interviewees made up regarding levels of fan membership
- Fandom as a culture (internal ethics/criticisms)
- Content curation
For the sake of time, I’ll probably condense some.
I’m trying to do that now, think of how to do that, but… With everything going on lately, it’s almost hard to think. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed. Scratch that, I’m definitely overwhelmed.
SCRATCH ALL THAT. YEAH I’M OVERWHELMED BUT I JUST GOT A BOOST OF–idk it was probably the three pieces of expired Halloween chocolate I ate–BUT ANYWAY.
- Stigma (internal, external, gatekeeping, toxicity)
- Fan-Content Relationship (Bullseye, separation, fiction v. IRL)
- Fan-Community Relationship (support systems, belonging, inclusion/exclusion, relate to stigma)
- Content-Community Relationship (canon v. fanon, content curation, creative influence, fan works, career paths)
Am. Am I seeing some kinda trifecta model here? Fan-Content-Community… E y e. Is this a breakthrough. is this what a breakthrough is like.
It makes sense. The fan as the individual. The fan’s relationship with the content, the fan’s relationships with the community. And the relationship between the content and the community. Those. Could cover the topics I listed.
I think it needs refining, of course. Maybe the stigma vignette handles fandom’s place in society overall, the external stuff, and the more internal stuff will go under “fan-community”–bruh. I gotta think on this. But hoo boy do I love when things come in threes. Wow. A literary dream.
Okay, suddenly I feel a bit better about this. I gotta keep thinking about that fourth one, though, but I do think it’s necessary to see all this tri-relationship bs as it relates to “the outside,” y’know what I mean? Like local v. fandom Twitter. Wow. Coming full circle.
Okay, I’m gonna ruminate on this. See y’all tomorrow over videochat.
After I come home from my job which I apparently still have to come on campus for.