The Last Blog
Wow, as I write this I’m pretty sure that this will be the last blog of my Master’s Degree process. I have survived three semesters of hard work and dedication. Ove the last year and a half I have digested every word from my instructors and was happy to ask for more. I would like to able to say that I am not nervous about how all of this will end. I know that some of the plans I had may not come true…and that’s ok. I know that after all was said and done I learned more that I ever expected to and I created a product that I hope finds a place on a shelf somewhere either online or in a traditional brick and mortar book store. I have submitted a draft of my literature review to Dr. Zamora and I’m certain the feedback I’ll receive will only add to the quality of what I’ve developed.
My nerves are at an all-time high. I’m usually not this late with my blog. I really didn’t know what I was going to write about this week. However, this space was to be used to provide a snapshot of the individual process each of us in the program was making. I’m just fine-tuning everything little aspect I can think of. But I’m still nervous about the outcome. I’ve created four pretty cool websites to go with the stories…but I’m still nervous about how they’ll be received. Two months ago I was told I had a job within the Learning Center at Kean. I had hope to use that time to create professional connections at the university. Alas, the hiring managers have not gotten back to me. I do not believe all is lost. However, I am nervous that I might not be able to present my work like I had imagined. I can live with that. There is always time to return at a later date to present my work – officially or otherwise. My main concern and the reason for my nerves is that I want this to be publisher ready. I don’t expect this work to go from this program directly to a bookshelf. I’m hoping that editors more familiar than me in this genre can help define where some tweaks might be necessary before hitting the shelves.
Sometimes I have a habit of overlooking the little things. I tried to make sure that I gave myself enough time to get my edits completed and put together my literary review. My time in Doctor Nelson’s class gave me the insight to draft a literary review. I was also able to reuse much of the review that I completed in his class on my final thesis project. I borrowed my introduction and then the main piece of the review from the research paper we had to complete in his class. Still nervous I might be missing something or that I have forgotten to do something. It reminds me of a recurring nightmare and a scary piece of my childhood.
In the dream I’m running through the halls of my old high school. I’m lost and I can’t find my locker or the class I’m supposed to be in. If I get caught out in the halls in the dream, I’m now running for my life. When I was a kid, my Highschool was right across the street. The school’s property was two city blocks wide and almost four city blocks long. Kids stuck to their part of the school property and didn’t stray into the worlds of others lightly. Sometimes at night my parents would get made if I had forgotten to do my homework. My stepfather would demand that I run across the street and get what I needed from the school to get my homework done. He knew as much as I did that much of the school was locked up for the night and that my only way in would be to risk crossing into another world. “It’s good training,” he would say. There were times I climbed up to the school’s roof and crossed over the riskier areas from above. That method of procurement posed its own set of risks. People who know me know I’m afraid of heights – but the fear of an ass kicking was greater than my fear of higher altitudes. Sometimes things got ugly and sometimes things only got tough. Then there were times things went off without a hitch. I feel like I’m that kid trying to figure out how to beat the odds in a world full of risks. I have no idea how this one is going to work out but here goes everything.