Before today, I did not have time to really focus on my thesis. I plan on using today to expand upon what I already have. I not only want to add what I previously wrote in my journal to my electronic version, but I want to continue to expand on other ideas I had/wrote down. I had a goal I was trying to accomplish, but the more I go through life I am starting to realize I am not completely in control. I cannot control when my thoughts will flow or what day I will write a lot/find new material to add. To be completely honest, sometimes ideas come to me when I least expect them to. Like I was telling a classmate, I am learning to not feel discouraged when I do not accomplish what I set out to do. Instead, I am trying to be happy that I accomplished something.
This week I was writing a prayer and then right after I went through a moment of reflection. I like using what the writing theorist Donald M. Murray says in “Teach the Motivating Force of Revision” to define what I was doing which is “write to catch a glimpse of what they may see and then revise-and revise and revise and revise-to make it come clear” (56). But all of the thoughts/sentences did not originate from me, and I think it is interesting to note that I felt the need to continue my reflection in my journal because I wanted it ALL to be in one place. I wanted to make sure it is something I look back upon and remember. I guess I was trying to capture time/when it happened. Usually when I write more than a couple of sentences, I put it somewhere separately.
Some of the ideas were not new, but for some reason I felt like they were more organized, I saw the connection, or I had a better sense of how I might be able to use it. I did flesh out one more idea I did not previously have.
Not to long ago, I also wrote a note about electronic literature. I decided to think about digital literature again only this time I thought about that and more. Some of my thoughts were revolving around sound, my pastor, and the studio visit with Flourish Klink and Elizabeth Minkel. I did not realize how much the studio visit and the comments about sound from my professor Alan Levine would help me. I am sure as I read back through what is written and include it into my electronic version I will make some revisions. But, I am happy with the start. I also have some (what’s next) ideas jotted down so when I continue working on my thesis I can start from there. I ended it all with another written prayer.
This week I worked on trying to flesh out one more idea I had. I think that idea really works well in my paper, but one of them I am still contemplating whether I am going to keep it or how I can expand it. Nevertheless, I still think it is important, and I am glad I took some time out to actually put it in my paper since I previously just wrote it. I also added to my literature review and made revisions.
This blog will not be long, but I think it is successful because of what I have accomplished. This week I worked on fleshing out other ideas I had for my paper. I started off by actually writing my thoughts/support on paper. I like what I have produced thus far, but I have to see how it actually fits in with what I have already written. Later on today, I also want to read another article to see if it will help me with another idea I had. Hopefully, the ideas I have will blend in well with my paper. I am also being hopeful that other ideas will come to me or the ideas I already have are good enough.
This week I did not do much in terms of my thesis. I am very proud of what I have accomplished thus far though. For the upcoming weeks, my goal is to work on / think about some of the other ideas I had. Hopefully when I meet with the professor, we can discuss my work done over winter break and the ideas/work accomplished after winter break.
In terms of how I am going to present my work, I am still thinking about it. But for now, I am still praying and believing this will all work out!
For today, I just read a little. I am not sure if the article I read will really help with my paper but it did pop up some ideas. I am thinking that I could maybe use statements in the article in the beginning or after I bring up the discussion with school and writing. I really have to think it through. The last thing I want to do is add more and it is not beneficial.
I have to admit the part that I thought would be the hardest is indeed the hardest. The more I work on this paper the more I see my passion for the creative / writing about my own experiences. But, I am sticking to my original idea of having this interplay of the academic and creative. I love how my written prayers are flowing in the paper, but I am still worried about the academic element. I am just trusting that the aftermath will be beautiful.
This week I did not work on my thesis directly. I did so much trying to complete my rough draft I just decided to relax. I did take a little bit of time to go to the Writing Theory class reading roster and download articles. I didn’t check again to see what I had. I just downloaded everything I wanted so I can have it for later. I also have been thinking about what to do next.
I am realizing more and more in the midst of me trying to help others, I am also learning. Listening to my pastor this past Sunday, made me think about my own praying habits. I thought about what I could do to improve or maybe what I should pay attention to even more when I pray. I was trying to think to see if there was a way to incorporate what I heard, but I am not 100% sure if I can or will. I just made up in my mind to keep moving forward.
I sent my rough outline and a rough draft of the first part of my thesis to the professor in an email. I am proud of what I have accomplished, and I am praying that my professor is satisfied with my work as well. I hope no major changes are necessary, but at the same time if I made major mistakes I want them to be pointed out.
Once again, I feel like I did things within my work that I did not anticipate on doing. I ended up incorporating my written prayers throughout like the teacher suggested, but I do not feel like it is too much. I tried to make sure the prayers I incorporated flowed with the point I was making and the paper itself. My own written prayers acted as support/proof to defend what I was saying. The paper ended up being as hard as I expected, but I have been in situations that were harder.
I just know God came through for me!
Since the last blog, I still have been working on my rough draft. I have to admit it is starting to get hard. I am making progress, but I am not making progress as quick as I would like to. I set an amount of pages I would like to complete for the day and sometimes I do not accomplish what I set out to do. Naturally, I am not satisfied but then I try to keep reminding myself I still have more time. I am trying to get everything done as early as possible. But sometimes, I feel like I have no choice but to move the pace I am moving because of the way my ideas are flowing. I am trying to flesh out as much as I can before I move on to the next idea as well. I am mindful that this is not my whole thesis.
Some days, I literally just feel like I spend my time going over what I already wrote. I feel like every time I reread my paper I am changing something or finding another area I need to work on. I am trying my best to do everything the first time around. So, a lot of my time is dedicated to making sure what I said makes sense, rereading some of my sources again, and then going back to my paper to add the sources.
But in the process of doing all this, I know I made the right decision when it came to just writing instead of choosing something and sticking to it. When I first started, ideas and pages were just flowing. Now, sometimes I find myself feeling stuck or just sitting trying to figure out exactly what I want to say. Sometimes, thoughts just come to me out of nowhere and other moments I feel like I have nothing. I had an idea of what I wanted my first rough draft to look like but like I said last week things are changing. Right now, my goal is still to complete what I set out to do, but I want to end up with a draft that I am satisfied with. This is exactly what you go through when you tend to like things that are difficult lol.
But through all the stress and frustration that comes along with school, I am grateful to be in this master’s program.
To say this week has been unexpected is an understatement. But, I am proud to say I have been working on my draft, and my thoughts are constantly evolving. Sometimes, I feel like my paper is going in a different direction than I originally thought it would, but I am not upset because it is only changing due to me being critical of my arguments/what I am writing. I just hope that when others read my draft they will understand my point of view and see the thought that was put into my paper.
Right now, I do not feel it is necessary for somebody to read what I have. I just want to focus on finishing before I concern myself with another person’s point of view. I have realized sometimes when you think something is not your best or not what someone is looking for others see something completely different. So, when questions or uncertainty arise I am using that as my motivation. Besides, I do not really know what to expect so why worry about it.
Furthermore, I thought my paper would be nicely divided between academic and creative. I do not think it is anymore. I find myself talking a lot from my own experience although I am going back to include references to outside work. There was a struggle between making it strictly academic or using the word (I). I decided to just follow my heart and the direction I wanted this project to go. Hopefully, the decision I made works out.
I have also been thinking about the suggestion my teacher made about including my prayers throughout my paper. I like the idea, but I am still not sure whether I am going to do it. Right now, I am trying to save my prayers for last because I want my paper to be well balanced. I am trying to write as much as I can and prove my argument before jumping to examples, and I am not trying to expose a whole lot of my private prayers either LOL. But,
today I started a new journal! My prayers continue…..