¿Perdonar? ¿Con qué se come?

I was asked to write about forgiveness, what do I mean by this word? Blank.

I spent 2 days thinking about forgiveness, I watched movies, I listened to music, I read one or another poem trying to clear my mind and nothing. Until I saw the premiere of Hocus Pocus and in one scene Winifred loses her sisters, there I understood that to forgive is to lose and lose to find oneself again, perhaps with another thought, more mature, more conscious.

Forgiving more than a feeling or an emotion is an act and a choice to leave behind or overcome the bad that has been done to us and that we made ourselves. To forgive is to get rid of carrying an unnecessary weight of grudges and negative feelings that stagnate you more and more.

When I think of forgiveness I imagine myself saying in front of the mirror «I forgive you because I choose not to live with the negative feelings you provoke me, because if I do not let go I will keep them alive and they will become a disease that consumes me spiritually and physically.» I believe that to forgive another it is important and imperative to forgive yourself, to know what we are doing wrong, what hurts me and how I can solve it, because if I do not do this exercise with myself, how will I know what about the other hurts me?

Forgiveness is no longer feeling hurt when I see myself when I see them.

I believe that writing is important for forgiveness because it allows expressing, to carry out a work of introspection. Life hurts and sometimes it hurts to live. It hurts the thoughts, actions, the day to day, sometimes that pain stops being felt within itself and comes out, the body, the hands, the eyes, the head hurts, it hurts to breathe and it hurts to exist. Writing has allowed me to do a process of katharsis, because I have been able to express what I feel and think, what was left in my throat, and what went away with the wind. I have seen writing as a therapeutic process that allows me to breathe. I am extremist, exaggerated, a little dramatic, and tragic, but I know that writing about what hurts me and has caused that pain is not bad, because it is necessary to know, recognize, forgive and grow. Forgiving is hard, but it is necessary. If it weren’t for the writing I would still have a grudge against my family, towards me. Forgiving is also an act of love, of life. Writing gives me life, forgiving gives it back to me.

My Week

Honestly, the week has flown by and I feel like we were in class yesterday talking about our two week goals.

I had a busy week last week and am still in catch up mode so not much as happened with my thesis. Finding a scene to read has been difficult and I have been spending a lot of time researching how to plot. I have many scenes but trying to line them up, understand what exactly is a scene, what is missing, etc. has been extremely difficult and overwhelming.

I haven’t made the progress that I had hoped, but am excited to continue to break ground on this aspect of my project. The fact this is so challenging let’s me know I will learn a lot about my project and my process as I am working through it.

My overall feeling for this week in everything work, personal, and school is “under prepared and overwhelmed.” Because of this I have set aside time to just sit down and lay out what I need to do and turn to resources that are around to support me.

Here is a meme I found that accurately portrays how I am feeling.