Well, the danger of getting swept up in a tornado like Dorothy has passed, although it is still pretty windy. Does this means that things are perfect? Most certainly not. Does it mean that my stressors have magically disappeared? Again, no. Everything single thing is still there, but I did remember to breathe after Thursday night, when I felt like I was at the apex of a spiral. Thank you Dr. Zamora and Jesus!
After class, I breathed deeply and repeatedly. I also prayed to God in a very conversational way. It helped a lot. In the past two weeks my prayers about life’s knocks have been short, demanding and desperate. This is hyperventilated prayer, not well-considered prayer. I then drafted a few emails to others, realizing that trying to step outside of yourself and help others is a great way of getting out of your own head. It’s a healthy thing to do. After this, I switched gears and finished my elit homework. This was important for my recalibration! Again, these are all things I know intellectually, but that I have to actually put into practice more often so that they become part of my mental muscle memory.
After doing all of this, I sat on my couch with my battered notebook and a pencil and I wrote down some specific terms I wanted to research regarding depression, as it relates to my memoir. I took my time, rather than aggressively pounding on my keyboard. Pacing yourself is really important (again, thank you Dr. Zamora for reminding us of this). I then let this steep, read a book just for pleasure and eventually fell asleep.
Early Friday morning, I embarked upon the work of my literature review. Slowing down the night before paid off because I think that my depression section is now complete. I’ve been working on it steadily for the last two days and supplemented what I found last week. I also found an article regarding left-handedness and I included it in my literature review.
My plan for tomorrow and the remainder of the week is to go through my list of themes and see what is missing in terms of literature review. Again, my goal is to winnow things down and crystallize my concepts. The process really is recursive!
Regarding my memoir, I’d like to take look at my conclusion with fresh eyes and see if something is missing. Endings and beginnings are crucial. I have also reached out to a friend and asked him about how to best record my memoir. We don’t have definitive answers yet. I’d really like to pursue this since the idea was well-received when I did my presentation. There’s a time crunch, so I may not be able to record everything, but I’d definitely like to get started. If anyone has any suggestions, I’d be happy to hear them!
As always, I look forward to learning with all of you. Be well!