Testing, 1… 2… Testing… Is this working?
This is my first blog post of the semester. It feels good to be writing a new entry after three months of “solitude”. Although summer vacations are generally hailed as the time of rest and peace, I tend to find them overindulgent. Unless I have something productive to work on, it usually feels as if I wasted my time. Perhaps, it’s just a feeling that comes with age. I’m having difficulty imagining a kid complaining about the summer vacation, or merely seeing it as a waste. Man, I’m getting old.
The main objective of this post is reflecting on my thesis project as a whole, and taking “a first step” so to speak —even though I had already started working on it before the summer. I guess, it would be a nice throwback to the Writer’s Retreat class to give a quick summary of what I had done and what I had planned (and somewhat failed to do) right here. Since this blog is synchronized with the home page of that class, perhaps my old classmates can see this and reminisce with me. Talk about overindulgent. Anyways, I had managed to complete a “first” draft of the opening act, which consisted of 10 individual chapters, of the story before the class ended. It was meant to introduce the fictional setting, the characters, and introduce an overall idea of what sort of story it was going to be to the audience. I believe I managed to do a decent job on it. Since then, I have been trying to write pieces of the next act, at random order, on tiny sheets of paper that I carried around as I dined or sit in a cafeteria. When it occurred to me that all of that work eventually needed to be transfered over to the computer (by typing obviously), I intentionally stopped working on it. I’m currently somewhere at the middle point but I really wish that I had done more. I’m crossing my fingers that I’ll be able to complete that act, or at least come close to completing it, by the end of this month. Is that too unrealistic? The time will tell, for sure.
That brings me up to this class, the Thesis —or, if we need to get technical, the Advance Seminar 1 (1 and 2, in my particular case). Only two sessions in but this class already feels like a proper follow-up to Writer’s Retreat; same method of conducting lessons and simply working on the project. The major thing that I need to be able to put in words right now is the reasoning behind my decision to create this certain project, as in why I chose to do a fictional novel with its specific themes. The easy answer: I had already established its foundation in an earlier class (Writing Literature for Children) and it was pretty convenient to simply go back to it. The harder, somewhat longer answer: I desired to create a story in which I could explore certain aspects and struggles of my own life, my own experience, and how it might have influenced me to become the person I am today. Does that sound pretentious? Maybe it does but I don’t care. As I attempted to make a list of themes to explore for the project, such as the concept of fate or being part of a society, I begin to realize that I myself personally struggle at times with defining what they are, and how to “deal with” them, so to speak. I am quite certain that I am not the only person that has these issues, and I figured that it might be interesting to explore them in a fictional, fun environment, not only for myself but also for anyone who would be willing to read it.
Another theme that I decided to explore within this story is the concept of derealization (the dissociative mind). It is something that interested me ever since I’ve discovered it. And by discovering, I mean reading the particular word and its definition for the first time. As I learn more and more about what it really is, I’m beginning to question myself if I suffer with it as well. It’s often described as “sickness”, but is it really? Perhaps, it’s merely an alternative way of perceiving the reality. Now, that certainly sounds pretentious. I still don’t care. People could use a little bit of pretentiousness in their lives —live a little, you know? I’m hoping that exploration of the theme, or rather the concept, within this thesis project, will allow me to come to a solid conclusion whether I need to take certain precautions to prevent this “problem” continue to grow on me or not. Who knows? It might even help the reader.
I think I’m going to end this early, and very brief, reflection right here and post it as this week’s blog post. Since the class technically supposed to start at 4:30 —regardless of when we might’ve actually conducted it— I’m hoping this will count as the due post today (fingers-crossed). I will continue to reflect on my project in next week’s blog post. I should have a much better understanding of it overall, especially after writing up the proposal for it.
For the time being, I need to go back to typing those “professionally organized” manuscripts.